March 31st 2025

Ending the Spiritual Bypass & THE IMPORTANCE OF THE BREATH

Darn, I really wanted to do something else but I promised myself this morning that right after the brunch I was hosting I would clean up everything in the kitchen and then I would write, as god forbid, I couldn’t allow my face to be streaked with any evidence of predawn deep emotions that eagerly, after being collected for 70 years and forced into hiding, was now, only now, in the last several days being allowed to surface, to be acknowledged, heard, and most importantly, to be deeply FELT!

Although for now holding back was important, as writing about the child wounds, those deeply rooted, shoved down feelings embedded in the shadows of the human form could wait, for I remembered clearly as a child of German/Austrian descent the mantra, “Stop crying or I will really give you something to cry about” still lingering in the unconscious mind. I thanked God I never said that to my children, anyway, they have enough to deal with being the imperfect parent even though my goal was to be the ‘Leave It To Beaver,’ perfect parent. Of course the mind quickly rationalizes, “Well you know they chose you to learn exactly what they came too.” That my friends is what I am calling the Spiritual Bypass!

I thought I was saved from any more deep feelings and tears, but instead, what popped up on my instagram feed was an audio clip from the ‘Know Thyself’ YouTube channel, and all I had been innocently looking for was an apple, cinnamon and yogurt recipe that I had previously saved. The post began without my permission and Dr. Sue Morter’s voice spoke directly to me, (posted March 29th 2025, the whole interview on Andre’s YT channel). Obviously this was subtly orchestrated by my Soul, “Instead of jumping into your head” rang out her words, “when something has a hold of you, instead of asking why, just ask, where in my body is this coming from? It’s immediately going to answer. It’s like, oh, I thought you’d never ask…” The post continued but I unconsciously put my right hand on my right hip and began running it up and down my right lower back down to my leg and began to cry. My body had the answers, and no matter how many health ‘experts’ I had gone to, almost exhausting all financial means, my body knew all along what I needed to do to heal, I just needed to listen with the divine heart, and I realized how wrong my analytical, rational, logical ‘spiritual’ mind had been.

I sobbed, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, like being caught in a sudden tropical storm with nowhere to run or hide. I held my heart with my left hand as my right hand continued to stroke the area that had called for my immediate attention and I rocked back and forth until the tears ceased and my breath calmed.

I had awakened the dragon hidden in my cellular memory, and I knew an army of them were waiting patiently for their turn, their turn to transform their riddled bodies covered with scales, thorns, sharp claws, and weathered and battered wings from decades of trying to fly only to be knocked down again and again, so took to hiding in order to protect themselves from more pain and suffering, into light and once again being fully integrated into Self.

Brunch came and went and for the first time I was able to share without shame some of my discovery with those that gathered. That was a big deal for me, to disclose my journey of tears and heartbreak, and oddly, it felt natural.

Kitchen is now clean. No more excuses. I could feel the tears well up as I picked up my journal and began to write. Wow, so deeply hidden for so long, for I was the analytical spiritual one that had all the important answers about the ‘why’s’ of life.

Why one picks their parents, grandparents, siblings, neighbors, teachers, partners, on and on, and this mind of mine is a MASTER at the knowing of all the WHY’S, as I was the master of my Universe!

Hey, why not? I have had three, three-day Oneness experiences of complete bliss, where there was no need for answers because the perfection of ALL was unquestionably evident, feeling so complete in this omniscient beauty of the Divine Plan, the inner-standing that all that existed was rooted in the Knowing of that perfection with no need to question or change anything. So how could I complain about my life, or my parents, teachers, former husbands, or friends, knowing they, without question did the best they knew how in that moment of time in this ever evolving life journey that I knew ‘I’ designed to learn, grow and expand?

There is no blame here, no pointing fingers, absolutely not, how can there be blame in this dance of life when the Soul’s grandest purpose is the ever expansion of ones Sacred Heart to fully love everything that comes our way for this one divine purpose.

BUT, with that it does not mean to ignore one’s feelings!

Right now my mind wants to stop this emotional quest into the cells, bones, tissue, chakras and more, of where for decades this deep sadness, unworthiness, and mystifying confusion has been stored, and now, my body can no longer store another unhealed emotion and has created external ailments. But still, even with this new knowing, my mind is trying to distract me from my ability to finally heal these wounds and the physical form that has been struggling with pain for the last five years. Yes, prior, injuries randomly occurred after sport injuries or some traumatic event like not feeling supported by my former husbands and left to carry the emotional weight of the family, or ugly divorces, where my back would go out leaving me in horrible pain. But I only paid attention to the need to ‘carry on’ completely ignoring the emotional trauma being stored in my physical form because I knew how to do the temporary physical fix for years at a time until something else came up…not anymore!

My Soul now loudly warns, “You say you want to evolve into the 5th and 6th dimensions. Although if you keep ignoring your Breath, your Divine Heart, your Need to feel, you will not heal and instead continue to shove down these emotions into your physical form. Harsh, but it was you that wrote the powerful poem and sent its energy into the Universe, so I, as your Soul must comply, and you may become so crippled in your physical pain you will detach more fully from the higher dimensions and be stuck in the 3-D illusion blocking you from moving into the higher dimensions that you yourself wrote about in your beautifully channeled book. Last chance, do this NOW. Feel, feel, feel, CLEAR.”

I allow myself to go into those areas which are constructed and ask follow-up questions allowing for empathy and understanding to open up that space of constriction. Helpful, but once again my brilliant mind assures me ‘no need to write anything down or go into feelings, we get this!” It’s the big lie of the egoic mind, making us believe that if we understand something there is no need for further exploration, especially to deeply FEEL the feelings connected to the emotions.

This human form we reside in, this precious vehicle that allows us to experience all our senses, to witness the ever expanding beauty of creation, also has its needs, and those include feeling heard, loved, honored, cared for, cherished and to have our magnificence regularly pointed out instead of what society perceives as faults. Sadly, the educational system has fallen on its face, and purposely, as far as I am concerned, done this intentionally to keep the creative ones suppressed, feeling less than the ‘smart’ kids rated that way only because they are good at the basics of mind training, and the most horrible part is that in the last 40 years they have drugged so many to ‘keep them in line’ to break their spirit, their will and control them. And for who’s convenience? These great explorative minds are given devices to shut them up and shut them down. It makes me sick, as taking those devices away and sending them into nature to explore, create, run, build, laugh, play, discover, is what they need, not some numbing drug or device or boring classroom. How can we have allowed this since I was a child? Seventy years ago and nothing has changed except for the worse, how can this be?

I stop the questions and go right to the places the feelings are stored. Ouch. Tears rise again and this time I allow them to flow. I sob without listening to the minds lectures of should’s and shouldn’t’s and instead I begin breathing into the pain that feels like endless waves of a stormy ocean crashing against the shore— energetically, almost knocking me over until my tears subside. Feeling weak and drained I fall into the arms of the Divine Heart and she wraps me in her arms of boundless love.

I wipe my eyes knowing I will allow myself to go back to this place until every last fragment of self, every painful memory has come out of hiding and presents itself to be embraced, healed and loved.

Late afternoon comes. As I go on with my day I feel the need to be in constant connection to this child aspect of self, to show her who she really is.

“Take my hand precious one” I say to the wounded inner child cowered in a corner of my physical form, whose heart is filled with pain and suffering from adults and children alike that have told her she was stupid, or falsely accused her of doing something she did not, “And I will take you to your future and prove that those adults, teachers, and mean children did not know what they were talking about, for how could someone that is stupid do all that our future self has done? Take my hand and I will show you that you are a futurist, a forerunner, a wisdom keeper, and how kind, amazing, endlessly talented, and special you are!”

Tentatively she takes my hand, she is starting to trust me, and I gently pull her into my world, present day, and point out to her the endless beauty she/I have created and assure her, “No stupid person could even begin to conceive of these visions, these feats of balance, flow, color, texture, endless solutions, and is also a designer, coach, poet, a published author and creator of unlimited beauty and graceful.

Later I tell her, “OK, be like a sweet baby monkey and hold onto me wherever I go so I can show you moment by moment how amazing we are. She laughs, I laugh, we both laugh so I pat the side of my right hip for her to snuggle in and hold on…we become One.

All night she remained in my arms and with the light of the new day I say to her, we will go deeper, but for now, let’s Dance! And we dance, dance, dance to the powerful rhythm of the ancestral drums, awakening us to the power within as these liquid beats move throughout our entire body. Breathe, breathe and stomp, stomp into the earth which so lovingly holds and supports us. We are connected to all ages, we are oneness, we are courageous, we are powerful, and now we can reclaim our rightful place in the evolution of All.

Suddenly, music begins to play from my computer, we laugh again as Robbie Robertson’s powerful beat of Ghost Dance fills the air. And when it was done I saw and heard voices within, multiple fragments of myself, of all ages who had been once silenced or shamed, wanting to join in. I pushed repeat and Ghost Dance once again loudly played as we danced, but this time with more pounding, movement and emotion…we danced to the rhythm as the energy portals between heaven and earth flashed golden-white light and connected us to all realms of existence.

Later I tell her, “OK, be like a sweet baby monkey and hold onto me wherever I go so I can show you moment by moment how amazing we are. She laughs, I laugh, we both laugh so I pat the side of my right hip for her to snuggle in and hold on…we become One.

I am acutely aware that my pain has lessened, my movement is beginning to be more fluent. Still a ways to go, but this is more than enough reason for me to continue this journey of ending the ‘spiritual bypass’ and deeply feeling all fragmented aspects of self.

Every time I see a post that someone wants money for something I am reminded that I never manifested my homes, cars, country clubs, land, businesses, or relationships by desiring money!

1st, just except that you came worthy at the same level you know you came with breath. Forget what your mind believes, just HOLD and Expand the frequency of what you want to attract,

I ONLY focused my energy on point

A = Vision, Desire, and Z = Outcome. Saying, ‘For this or something better for the highest good of all with EASE & GRACE, allow it to fall apart if it isn’t.”

Because Seriously, why would you want something that was a struggle to keep or not your highest good?

That is it. It is none of my business how the Divine Higher Intelligence makes that happen, my job was to hold the energy and to keep expanding the sensations.

To deeply feel the joy of seeing it done through my delightful creative self, that could see myself ...

OK, let's take a home as an example. I either designed it on paper (brings vision more quickly into form) or held a clear vision of what I desired. I saw myself walking up to my 'Home' so grateful and delighted in what I was FEELING, SMELLING, HEARING, and SEEING. I might even be laughing at the knowing the Universe wants nothing more that to create my dreams into form, especially BEAUTY.

I feel the gravel under my feet and turning into a stone walkway as it winds to my dream 'home' (describe it) with beautiful landscaping and the smells of flowers, damp earth from a recent rain, birds chirping and flying to their nests in nearby trees. I see the light reflect off the windows of the newly build atrium separate of the main home off to the right with it’s ancient door open awaiting my arrival to once again pot more seeds or flowers or read in a comfy chair where I am among what I love…

OK, you get it, just keep diving into ALL YOUR SENSES! And Keep the EGO Mind out of this!